"Listen to me closely now, son. Don't fidget, I'm talking to you. I'm going to tell you a fine old story, the same one my father told me when I was about your age. Don't roll your eyes at me boy, I'll tan your hide good if you try it again. That's better. Now back to my story. It's kind of funny really; it's about a bunch of vampires I know. Got your attention, did I? Of course I know they're not real, but myths come from somewhere don't you know? I've told you not to roll your eyes at me, I'll see to it you have no eyes. Now, do you want to hear the story or not? What do you mean not? Well, you'll listen anyway.

Now, it seems to be that though human flesh is fatty and unhealthy, nothing at all like a good deer, their blood has quite a satisfying taste. Salty, and only a little coppery. Well, I'll tell you how I know if you'll only listen. You see, a long time ago, when my father's father was just a boy, his father told him of a particularly odd hunt. The hunt of the first vampire. Don't tell me you can't see where this story is going? Young people today have no imagination... just listen, you'll figure it out soon enough..."

... Shrevtek was bone tired. The hunt had not gone at all well this day. By now he should have been able to bag five deer, but it seemed the deer had become more clever than he. Shrevtek laughed aloud at that thought. He wasn't very clever at all, so maybe that theory wasn't such a strange idea after all. "What are you laughing at, dear heart? Surely a husband should share everything with his wife; even his laughter." Ah, Ceradine. She was clever. More clever than was safe for her husband. For instance, she knew instinctively that the way she stood in that very convenient clearing displayed her at her best. Her squirrel colored hair and her pond green eyes shimmered and every inch of snow white skin glowed. Shrevtek gulped and shook his head full of shaggy black locks. "I was only laughing at myself. I fear I'm a great source of comedy to myself..." Ceradine only giggled as she walked closer and spread her hands on his chest. She leaned on her toes to whisper in his ear... "You are so strange." Shrevtek blinked wide amber eyes into her dancing green ones. And they both laughed. Yes, Ceradine was very clever.

A loud eruption of laughter interrupted any other clever plans Ceradine may have planned. Any elf wouldn't be so loud during a hunt, so naturally it must have been humans. Even Shrevtek knew that. "Let's go home. The sun is almost down anyway, and human noises are too strange." "But we haven't finished our hunt." Ceradine even pouted prettily. "Since the deer have outsmarted us today, let's hunt the humans. They don't seem quite as smart as deer to me." Shrevtek stared wide eyed until he realized his wife was laughing. Then he scratched his head and shrugged. If following humans amused her, why not?

There were three humans; two men and a woman. They were walking very strangely and seemed to be sharing a bottle amongst them. Ceradine curled her lip in disgust. How did she look so beautiful doing that? "They're drunk, they won't be much sport at all. But let's follow them anyway. We'll surely find something fun to do." Sometimes, Shrevtek was scared to know what Ceradine was thinking... so he just didn't ask. After a while, Shrevtek began to enjoy himself. The humans really were very amusing!! They were falling all over themselves and slowly beginning to realize that they were VERY lost. Even Ceradine seemed to find humor in their odd display. But her attention wasn't quite focused on them. Suddenly she grinned and it had nothing to do with the fact that the woman had thunked the empty bottle on one of the men's head. "I've decided what we could do with them." That was all she said, or all she said aloud, anyway. What she whispered in his ear nearly made his hair stand on end.

The humans had fallen asleep, just as Ceradine had said they would. Still, Shrevtek felt a little uneasy. "Are you sure we should be doing this?" Ceradine wiggled an eyebrow. Then her rump wiggled as she turned to look at the humans again. Shrevtek gulped. He wasn't sure if she'd done that on purpose or not. She may well have; she was really quite clever. This new idea of hers, though... well, anything to make her happy. Or, at least, that's how he convinced himself. The plan was simple enough. Give the humans a scare. Let them experience the hunt from the view of the prey... her words, not his. They were just going to pounce on the men and drink a little blood from them. Just to scare them. They would run and scream and the two of them would have a good laugh.

Everything went as planned. Well, almost. The woman was too drunk to run and she just sat there and screamed. The men tried to fight, but they're drunkenness only made it grotesquely funny. The other thing that didn't quite go according to plan was... it tasted good. They liked it. Nobody would ever dream of eating a human, they weren't fit for the dogs. Yet... they're blood was quite worth the occasional extra hunt...

... "Of course, humans, being humans, never got the story right. They made up these elaborate, evil vampires. Haha! And, now this is funny, they protect themselves with garlic and wooden stakes! Now, I'm not fond of garlic myself, and surely a wooden stake in the the heart would kill anyone, but so would a good dagger. Of course, there's an origin to those tales too, but those are stories for another time."