One night a girl stealthily walks into the writers lounge for the Barney show. A malicious gleam enters her eye and her lips quirk with the effort of stifling a giggle. She's decided to leave the writers a little present. After setting various wards on the door, she sits at one of the desks and looks around. She gives a disgusted sniff; if she were working in a dump like this, she wouldn't write very good scripts either. O, well, better get to work.

Enter Barney, a purple dinosaur bloated with all the goodies innocent parents' money can buy. Barney chuckles as he finishes off his prime ribs. The author is guessing that most of the people who buy Barney's merchandise don't eat as well he does. The thrown aside bounces off the head of an old woman. "How dare you", she screeches to which Barney laughingly replied, "I was only *sharing* my bone with you!" The old woman's eyes narrow and she whispers the words "shine, aho!" a la 'Thinner'. Never saw that movie, but the commercial was cool! Just as Barney is about to warn her about copyright infringement, he's caught up in a vortex. He sees three young girls in the vortex, falling. They're all in school uniforms; one red and black, one blue and one green. He has unwittingly fallen into the world of Rayearth. Seeing long, smooth legs made him forget for one blissful moment that he was falling to his doom. Then, suddenly, the blue haired girl in the blue uniform conked him on the head with a mallet. "Get away from us you pervert!" Luckily, before the girl could pound Barney any further, a kid riding a large griffin scooped them all up. "Hey kids! Let's do a sing-a-long!" Barney said gleefully. He was *sure* he could get another peek up those skirts if he could distract the girls. Unfortunately, the new kid, a short boy with white hair and blue eyes, whacked him on the head with a long staff. "I only need *girls* from the other world!" he shouted, earning him a glare from the blue haired girl. Of course, this means Barney is now falling through the air again. Barney blubbers and cries, but just before hitting the ground he falls through another vortex.

Barney lands on a pile of hay in the back of a cart. The cart driver is talking to a tall, blond man. This guy really stands out; he's the only blond around. Our unfortunate *cough* friend *cough* Barney is looking at Nakago of Fushigi Yuugi. More unfortunately for him, Nakago is looking back! Nakago has a slightly confused look on his face. "A Suzaku seishi? But how ... never mind, these one is surely even weaker than the rest. I won't waste my own time killing him; Amiboshi, finish him." Suddenly, a young boy begins playing a beautiful, but frantic melody on a flute. Barney covers his ears and falls to his knees. His whole body is in unbelievable pain. "Hey... I've... got a better song!" Barney manages to gasp. Taking a deep, painful breath, he begins to sing the most evil hymn of Darkness known to man. The devil himself shivers in fear as the first few words to the "I Love You" Song. Amiboshi screams and falls to the ground. His trained musician's ear cannot bear the horrible sludge coming from Barney's mouth. Another boy, one who looks much like the first, rushes from the side of a woman he was talking to. "Aniki! You'll pay for this!" Suboshi prepares to deal ultimate punishment with his ryusei. "You're going to attack me with *yo-yo's*?" Barney laughs. He doesn't laugh for long though as the ryusei dig painfully into flesh. Barney screams and runs for cover, but falls flat after taking about ten hopping little steps. Really, have you ever seen Barney *run*?? As he hits the ground, another vortex opens beneath him saving him from the last, deadly thrust of the ryusei.

Barney sits up and looks around. He seems to be in a public park. This seems normal enough, so he decides he's safe. He just hopes they're aren't any muggers out; it's pitch black outside. He's walking around looking for an exit when suddenly a young boy dressed all in black crashes into him. Barney blinks and rubs his eyes. He could have sworn the kid had just been running on the side of a building across the street. But hey, it's X and Kamui is cool, no justification required! Finding his voice finally, Barney decides to win the boy over before he has someone else trying to kill him. "Let's be friends!" He shouts desperately. Kamui's eyes narrow and he says in a voice cold as ice "I came to Tokyo for one reason; I need no friends." Barney's heart sank and he braced himself. Of course, the author has no idea how he could have braced himself against being flung into a brick wall. Apparently, he didn't know either, because he didn't do a very good job of it. The wall crumbled with the the combined force of Kamui's attack and Barney's immense weight. Barney saw nothing but swirling dots and then blissful darkness.

When Barney awakens, he's lying next to a boy of about fourteen years. He decides to get away quietly before the boy becomes conscious. Unfortunately, just before he can rise, the boy jumps up whispering. "My enemy... you're my enemy..." Barney, meet Heero from Gundam Wing. Might not want to bother him right now... he just had his first flight in Epsilon... oops, too late. Heero does one of those ultra cool Trowa backflips and lands in the cockpit (or whatever you'd call it) of Epsilon. Barney screeches and this time really does run as Epsilon rises. Of in the distance, someone yells "It's a GUNDAM!" We knew that, thanks. Anyway. Heero chuckles menacingly. "O, don't worry, I'll give you a head start and then... O mae o kurosu." Suddenly, Heero pulls out his long whip and brings it crashing down on Barney's head. Barney lies there dazed with tears in his eyes. Just then a large force of mobile suits attack Epsilon. "My enemy", Heero mumbles, leaving Barney free to roll painfully into the vortex that has just opened up beside him.

Barney looks around, more confused than ever. This place looks absolutely normal; it's even daylight. A strange, dorky looking guy walks up to him. "Hi! Welcome to Tokyo Tower. Do you need a tour guide?" Barney begins to laugh hysterically. Tokyo Tower! What could happen there?? He don't know anime very well do he??? What always happens at Tokyo Tower? The tour guide looks at his watch and puts on a helmet, preparing to run. "Wait... what's going on!" Barney wails. "It's one o' clock! Tokyo Tower always gets destroyed at one o' clock! That's how we get toursists to come here. Barney just sat and cried as the author appears 50 ft tall resplendent in tight leather dom gear and a whip, evilly laughing a la 'Bakaretsu Hunter'. I LOVE that show!! Anyway, the author (that's me! lucky!!) grins as her eyes glow battousai red. She lifts the whip and Barney begins to pray fervently. Suddenly the Hand of God intervenes. Barney is overjoyed! Until God says, "Give him a few extra lashes for me. If I wanted singing purple dinosaurs around, I'd have created a few." So God goes back to to Heaven, Barney pleads for his life and the author lands her whip soundly on the middle of his forehead several times until there's nothing left of him or the tower but rubble and a smear.

Gee, I sure hope the writers decide to use my idea. *Blinking innocently.* Why, I can't think of a single thing wrong with it! THE END! O-HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOO!!!